erica_x

The Christmas party had been Quackerjack’s idea, of course. No one had really wanted to go at first - The mad jester’s three teammates (he hadn’t even bothered to invite Negaduck) weren’t exactly enthusiastic about the holidays. But Quackerjack was insistent - and also not above threatening his friends - and surprisingly, it was The Liquidator who first agreed to come.

"Sure, Christmas is a bit schmaltzy," he’d said, "but it’s one of my favorite times of year."

"Really?" Bushroot inquired, surprised. The Liquidator grinned.

"Of course! It’s the busiest season for shopping!"

"Well, that explains it," Quackerjack noted, although he couldn’t help but wonder how many people bought bottled water as a Christmas present.

Megavolt looked around, confused. "Okay... What is this Christmas thing about again?" Quackerjack groaned - in earlier years, Megavolt had usually just forgotten when Christmas was, but recently, he’d been forgetting the holiday all together.

"For the last time," Bushroot began explaining, "Christmas is about the bir-"

"And lights," Quackerjack interrupted casually, a smirk forming on his beak.

"Lights?" Megavolt echoes, suddenly looking quite interested.

"Oh, yes. You haven’t seen the lights all around the city?"

"I-I had noticed that. Yeah." Suddenly remembering, the rat became infuriated. "All over Saint Canard, my poor luminaries left out in the cold!"

"Oh, yes. Awful," Quackerjack nodded. "Absolutely awful - But see, if you celebrate Christmas with me, you can put up lights of your own - Oh, and you’ll be nice to them, Megsy, not like all the other fools in this city. So won’t you come, Megsy, please?!" the jester begged. "For the lightbulbs? A-and for me?" he added, his voice surprisingly genuine and earnest. Megavolt smiled slightly.

"Okay."

Quackerjack clapped his hands together excitedly, then turned to Bushroot. "And what about you, Bushy?"

"No way," the botanist said, his tone unusually firm. "I hate Christmas - A time for peace and love? Bah! Not if you’re a... A monster!"

"Wow, you really need a Christmas party," Quackerjack stated, surprised by Bushroot’s outburst. "C’mon, Bushroot. It won’t be so bad."

"Besides, this way, nobody’s going to call you a monster," The Liquidator pointed out under his breath. "Compared to these two, you’re perfectly normal."

"Ohh... Fine," Bushroot said glumly. "But not tree! That’s the other problem with Christmas - People cutting down so many trees! It’s a slaughter!" Quackerjack rolled his eyes.

"Why don’t you just grow us a tree? No need to cut it down - You can bring it as a guest! The more the merrier, after all! And Megs, you bring lights!" he laughed. "Lots of lights! And Liquidator..." the jester paused, at a loss. "Bring... Something. I’ll see you all tonight!" he called as he ran off. The remaining three exchanged looks.

"So... Wait, we have to got his place?" Bushroot asked nervously. Megavolt shrugged.

"Eh. It’s not that bad."

~~~

Quackerjack heard the knock on his warehouse door just as the news report regarding the city-wide Christmas light robberies ended. Giggling madly, the jester bounded over to the door and threw it open. There stood Megavolt, hundreds of strands of Christmas lights draped over his shoulders, trailing behind him in the snow.

"Brilliant, Megsy!" Quackerjack cried out, grabbing his playmate’s hand and pulling him inside. He gave him a little hug, then stepped back, grinning. "No trouble with Dorkwing or anything?"

"Nope," Megavolt said, setting to work untangling the lights. If he was expecting any help from Quackerjack, however, he was to be disappointed. The duck was gleefully prancing about the warehouse, preparing for the party in his own odd way. His most precious toys were put away, lest they should be broken, and the others were pushed to the side. Gloppy, under-cooked Christmas cookies were set out alongside rings of pineapple covered with ketchup - Megavolt decided not to ask - and dozens of boxes of animal crackers. Beverages were provided later, when the Liquidator arrived with a crate of Sparkling Crystal Pure FludWater.

"Can’t find the right gift? Sparkling Crystal Pure FludWater will make the perfect present," he boasted as he placed the box on the table. By this point, Megavolt had untangled and hung all the lights, and in a weird way, the place was almost starting to look festive.

"Where’s Bushroot?" Quackerjack asked, looking about. "He’d better come. Can’t have Christmas without the tree!" The frustration in his voice was contradicted by fit of laughter. Megavolt just shrugged, his mouth full of pineapple and ketchup, which he had to admit wasn’t all that bad. The Liquidator had taken to amusing himself by looking at Quackerjack’s various creations - an activity that was significantly less dangerous for one who was made of water. At one point, he turned to Quackerjack, holding a pair of the duck’s infamous wind-up teeth.

"You know, these might not be completely unmarketable."

"Really?" Quackerjack asked, looking interested.

"Sure. For business man without morals." The Liquidator grinned, then continued. "We’ll talk. Consider it your Christmas gift."

Quackerjack looked truly thankful, but before he could say anything, Bushroot entered, followed by a large, walking Chrismas tree. "Guys, meet Douglas," he introduced, gesturing to his friend. "Douglas, the guys."

"Oh, goody!" Quackerjack did a little backflip in his excitement. "You came!"

Celebrating Christmas with a sentient Christmas tree would have been strange to any other group of people, but all present adjusted quite quickly, and carried on with their make-shift Christmas party. Bushroot listened to Megavolt recount how he’d collected all the lights, and in turn Megavolt listened to Bushroot explain the actual meaning of Christmas. Meanwhile, The Liquidator was steadying a ladder for Quackerjack, as the duck attempted to hang a sprig of mistletoe. Bushroot was none too happy to see yet another plant sacrificed to the holiday, and - his sense of indignity at it all overcoming his usual cowardice - he marched over to the pair.

"Hey! I thought you said you weren’t going to have any dead plants here!"

"I only said I wouldn’t cut down a tree," Quackerjack muttered through clenched teeth, annoyed at Bushroot’s complaints, as well as the difficulty he was having with the mistletoe. "Ah!" he cried as he finally got the plant up. "Perfect!"

"Perfectly murderous, maybe," Bushroot pouted, crossing his arms. "This holiday is disgusting!"

Quackerjack leapt down from the top of the ladder, doing a tumble in the air and landing on his feet. "Oh, lighten up," he said, pushing Bushroot beneath the mistletoe - and next to a very surprised and baffled Liquidator. The botanist shrugged shyly and kissed the dog on the cheek. (As best he could, at least, The Liquidator being made of water and all.) Quackerjack missed this, though, having had been called over by Megavolt.

"I got you a gift." the rat explained. "That’s... That’s Christmas, right?" Quackerjack nodded. "Good!" He pulled out a poorly-wrapped box and handed it to the duck, who eagerly tore off the wrapping.

"...You got me lightbulbs?"

"That’s just the box," Megavolt responded grumpily, offended by the unhidden disappointment in Quackerjack’s voice.

"Oh, okay then..." Quackerjack opened the box and pulled out a Whiffle Boy action figure. At least, it had been a Whiffle Boy action figure at once point. Now it was more of a fried heap of plastic. The jester threw back his head and laughed, loudly and delightedly.

"So, then... You like it?"

"Like it?" Quackerjack repeated. "Megs, I love it! I just... Wow." He shook his head, still grinning widely, and then grabbed Megavolt in a tight hug, which the rat returned. "Wait here," Quackerjack ordered once they separated. "I have something for you, too... Oh, but you’re not going to believe this..." he giggled, skipping off.

Moments later he returned, holding a bag that was stuffed to over-flowing with wrapping tissue. Curiously, Megavolt took the bag and poked around inside, beaming when his hand finally found something. He pulled out his gift - A Darkwing Duck action figure, mutilated almost beyond recognition. Megavolt let out a little laugh. "Thanks, Quacky," he said, turning the toy over in his hands. "This is... Ha, this is great."

"I guess demented minds think alike," Quackerjack pointed out. Megavolt’s smile widened and he kissed the tip of his beak.

"Merry Christmas, Quackerjack."

Quackerjack smiled happily, putting his arms around Megavolt’s neck and leaning his head against the rat’s chest. "Merry Christmas, Megsy."

A/N: I hope you like it, hun, and I hope I kept everyone in-character - Especially Quackers. He was trickier than usual for me in this fic... Also, as far as Bud Likki still praciticing business... I'm not sure if he'd specifically still be involved with Sparkling Crystal Pure FludWater, nessacarily, but I'm sure he'd have some, and I also always have imagined that he still practices a level a salesman-ship. Also, also, in terms of Quackerjack's warehouse... I either got that from a fic or from the show, I think. But I dunno... Any which way, I'm not sure if it's really canon.